my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
