dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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