Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
