what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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