i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
