he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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