I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
