I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
