Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize