And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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