Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
