I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
