So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
