Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
