i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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