i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone shattered a urinal.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
