So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
