she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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