is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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