How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
