there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
