You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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