if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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