he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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