You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
