the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize