Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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