well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize