Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
