saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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