he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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