Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
