And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
