i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
