Are we in a gay sports bar?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
