i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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