So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
