So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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