Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
