just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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