Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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