watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
no you cant smoke seaweed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
