I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
