he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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