this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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