It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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