i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
