he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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