I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
