But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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