with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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