I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
