Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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