Non-Jews are for practice
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize