I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
