Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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