She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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