I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
