I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
