Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
